Saturday, September 25, 2010

Tiger countdown 1411 - lets do this instead of trying to do the impossible

Only 1411 Tigers left, that was 6 months ago.
Now their are suppose to be even less then 1300 (unofficially figure cannot be confirmed, then again nether can the official figure.)

Here's what i was thinking,
Given the lack of interest of the Government in spending on protecting the Tiger reserves in our great (really?) country, and the impending extinction the Tigers face through poaching - negligence - corruption - hunting etc. Here's a very simple - effective process that promises to get our Government clear off all the Environmentalists - Wild Life people - UN - WWF and other similar organizations, well animal lovers in general and allow them to focus on much more important issues (IPL, Tharoorgate, Sugar prices, PM's turban color). At the same time provide a very nice Financial boost, that can cover all the enormous (yeah right!) funds that have been lost over the years in a failing effort.
Most of the people will agree that Tigers need lot of sacrifices and cumulative effort from the Human side to strengthen there numbers and preserve there natural habitat. Given the track record of humanity in such cases (heck we can't even agree on Global warming which threatens us the most), we can safely bet a billion on Tigers disappearing completely from the forests in the next 5 years.
Now most would agree with the saying "Tigers are on top of the food chain in the animal kingdom" (along with lions of course). There size - ferocity and beauty make them such amazing treasures, that i feel obligated to point out that species like them deserve a much better sending off. This ain't the Dodo birds we are talking about, these are the finest predators to roam the earth after the Dino age. Look at other species that have gone extinct so tamely, Mammoths - Sabertooths - Tasmanian Tigers(ironic?), Cave Lions, Irish Dears, Caspian Tigers (more irony?) and etc. etc. Do we really want the slumdog hunters - poachers or 2 cent corrupt forest officer have all the fun? I mean cmon', there are much better ways to go out then becoming chink medicine. (imagine the joke that'll be attached to the poor sobs).
Coming to the point. There's no way the Tiger's gonna survive in India at least(should be obvious to anyone who's not in denial). So why not give them a sending off party worthy of there stature? and cash in on the occasion like the opportunistic Indians we are :). So here's the Master plan for the Government.
Organize one last Government sponsored "Great Hunt", sending invites all over the world. Put in participation fees in excess of 100 $ million and above, have limited seats (somewhere around 40 - 50). And make it a highest bidder gets the seat system. Simple math tells us that this thing will easily raise up to minimum of 5 billion in participation fees alone. It can be advertised as "One last great hunting trip that has become a relic of the times of Maharajah's". One can easily imagine how many people around the World will be drawn by the hunt. Complementary Elephants and fine Indian cuisine will be the cherry on the cake. Some external income proceeds can be given for charity and I'll take 10 percent for coming up with the idea(its only fair). There's absolutely no downside to this, look at these simple points
1) Government get all these pesky Animal ppl and organizations off there back and gets payed in the process.
2) Complementary Elephants - Rich Hunters - TV coverage of the event - Interviews - Bollywood - Celebrities - Government figures (maybe even cheerleaders) make this a Masala event that we Indians are so fond off.
3) Modern Rifles make the Tiger's demise that much less painful.
4) Tigers themselves get a respectable demise, a send off worthy of them.
5) We send a strong message out to the criminals and smugglers who prey on our lack of imagination and resolve.

Why bother denying the inevitable? India right now needs to focus on much broader issues then animal preservation. Given the state of the economy - poverty - hunger and lack of funds for development( i know - i know). Why should we concern ourselves with the fate of an animal....i mean we still haven't gotten a better car then our neighbor or gotten our kids in medical schools. And lets not forget that big ass mansion we have wanted to own all our life.
Besides Indian culture these days is all about Bollywood - IPL - Black Money - Celebrity worshiping - Masala TV shows - Aunty soap operas - Software Engineering - Settling outside the country. Isn't it?

By Samar Vijay Sonone